I awoke this morning slightly annoyed and filled with a fair amount of venom. Partly due to the usual stream of bullshit that irks me about our life and wholly magnified by the hormones and excessive cramping that is the beauty and magic of womanhood. *Eye roll*
Try as I might to quell the negativity, as the morning progressed I had no more success taming my annoyance than I did the cramps. As per usual, I began brainstorming activities I could set myself to in order to lessen these burdens.
Work out? Nope. Cramps. So screw that.
Go for a walk? Nope. Windy as hell out and looks to rain at any moment.
Watch FRIENDS re-runs for the umpteenth time? Nope. Brain won’t allow me to vegetate like that at the moment.
Ride my colts? Nope. Again, CRAMPS and weather.
Cook? Nope. Don’t feel like eating, but also feel like eating everything, but feel like cooking nothing, and actually all I really WANT to eat is chocolate and coffee.
Alas. What I NEED to do, is get in my Bible and look to that for comfort because while I don’t utilize it nearly often enough, it has an uncanny knack of producing what I need when I need it.
Today was no different.
As I just mentioned, I don’t utilize my Bible often enough. Therefore, I am not well-versed (“Versed” because ‘Bible verses,’ see what I accidentally did there? Lol) in seeking out passages specific to my needs at any given time. I am simply not that familiar with it, definitely not as familiar as I would like to be – I’m working on it.
Because of this, I always use the issue of “Jesus Calling” my Nana gifted me some years ago as a starting point. I flip it to the day, read the passage at hand, and then I use the Bible verses that coincide with the day’s entry to proceed.
May 8: “Do not long for the absence of problems in your life. That is an unrealistic goal, since in this world you will have trouble. You have an eternity of problem-free living reserved for you in heaven. Rejoice in that inheritance, which no one can take away from you, but do not seek your heaven on earth.
Begin each day anticipating problems, asking Me to equip you for whatever difficulties you will encounter. The best equipping is My living Presence, My hand that never lets go of yours. Discuss everything with Me. Take a lighthearted view of trouble, seeing it as a challenge that you and I together can handle. Remember that I am on your side, and I have overcome the world.” – Jesus Calling, pg. 135.
As usual, the entry helped put my tribulations into perspective, but when I glanced at the bottom and realized that “Philippians 4:13” was a coinciding verse, my heart skipped and stomach dropped.
I have not yet taken the time to sit down and write the significance of “4:13” to post for the world to see, but it is an integral part of mine and my husband’s life together and the way we came to be a married unit. At the root of all the reasons these numbers are significant though, “Philippians 4:13” is the one that resonates most. I even have it written in yellow on a beautiful wooden sign gifted to me by a dear friend; it hangs in our kitchen above the stove where I can look at it every single day.
“I can do all this through Him who gives me strength.”
It is exactly what I needed today. Did it magically solve all my problems? No. But I didn’t expect it to.
Do the things in my life irk me any less than they did when I woke up this morning? No, they still bug the living shit out of me. However, I AM more peaceful now with the knowledge and perspective that those problems are serving a purpose in my life – even if the reason and end solution has not been revealed to me just yet. And most importantly I am comforted and feel a sense of confirmation that I am on the right track even though the road is dusty and full of potholes sometimes.
I’m still cramping and hormonal. But my mind is at ease and I think now I am going to indulge in that chocolate with the rest of my coffee and I will, in fact, watch FRIENDS re-runs for the umpteenth time.
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